Mediation between Paul and Jesus (Newhart style)

Good morning. My name is Steve Tamayo and I will be your mediator today.

Mr. Christ and Mr. de Tarsus, I want to start out by commending you for agreeing to participate in mediation, which is a rigorous and occasionally successful process. Since you both voluntarily agreed to participate, I know that you are committed to allow the system to work for you and to find the best resolution for your dispute.

Mr. de Tarsus, Mr. de Tarsus, oh, excuse me, Paulie, would you mind putting down the tent canvas while we're in mediation? I know you don't want to ask the churches in Greece for financial donations, but we only have a limited time and I'd like for your full attention to be on the process.

Now, where was I going? The dispute, yes, yes, Mr. Christ. So, I see you're familiar with the process. Been to mediation before? Oh, really. Oh. But not licensed in Virginia. No, why would you? Haha.

So the dispute was over the law. You both reference it in your writings, this 'nomon.' Yes, Paulie, your Jamaican accent is delightful. Oh, Jesus, yours is too. Me? Well, I guess I could add: wi gwaan hab a bashment time here at da mediation. Speaking of mediation...I know, I know. I'm all business.

When you said 'nomon,' Jesus, to what were you referring?

I see. And the Prophets, of course, it's right there in the Matthew recordings. Slang for the Old Testament in your neighborhood. I see. The OT. No, I've never seen the OC. No, sir I swear and I know you'd know if I was lying.

And Paulie, do you have a problem with the OT? I'm sorry, I meant the Old Testament. Do I really say my "t's" like "c's"? I'm self-conscious all of the sudden.

Thanks, Paulie, I guess I'd never thought about how salvation by grace connects with my speech disorders. So, the OT? You're cool with it. Like it? Uh huh. Love it? Okay. We're getting somewhere. Oh, no, I didn't ask you if you wanted to marry it because I know your position on marriage: God didn't make Adam and Pentatuch. See, I can joke back.

But, seriously, Paulie, what did you mean when you said Jesus abolished the law? Can't exactly make up your mind? Well...that's why there's Pauline scholarship, isn't that right? Heh, oh. Sore subject, huh.

So, either we're looking at the end of covenantal nomism or the revelation that there are two laws in the Law (one ceremonial and temporary and the other eternal and essential) or some Reformed clarification of the utility of the law post-crucifixion. I see. Or some combination of the three? Wonderful.

Well, either way, you two don't seem to be in conflict here. Have we resolved the dispute, then? Well, that's fine. That'll be three dollars and I don't make change.

No comments:

Post a Comment