Have you ever felt overwhelmed by a responsibility God's given you?
I've been feeling some of that this week. Overwhelmed. Overmatched. Outgunned.
It's as if I can hear the angels' voices from Isaiah 6 crying "Holy, Holy, Holy" and the voice of the Lord resounding "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" and I can't bring myself to volunteer, to follow Isaiah's "Here I am, Lord. Send me."
The emotions of insufficiency serve as some of my most faithful companions in campus ministry. And, although I don't enjoy them, I wouldn't remove them permanently.
The work we do requires divine intervention. God has to be at work.
And for me to have a deep reliance upon God, I have to maintain a clear awareness of my own insufficiency to do the ministry. I have some skill, but my skill can't accomplish the work. I have some talent, but my talent alone can't accomplish the work. I can do some of it, but not enough of it ... not the most important parts of it.
In ministry, we often exalt the Volunteers and get frustrated with the Hesitant.
But the Hesitant can remind us that the bold "Here I am, Lord. Send me." of Isaiah 6 ultimately will bow to the humbling "Peace be unto you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you" of John 20.
I am so grateful - when I find myself overwhelmed, overmatched and outgunned - that I am not sent alone, that Jesus was sent before me, that he goes with me and that he'll clean up the mess I leave behind.
When I say "Send someone else," God replies with a great "I have and I will." Jesus, the sent One. That thought gives me courage and traction and energy to hang on a little longer.
How do you push through the emotions of insufficiency?