Tomorrow, I plan to celebrate Jesus' resurrection.
But today, we have a YoSteve tradition to maintain. Every year, as Easter approaches, all over the world, people turn to each other and ask "Was Jesus a zombie?"
He died. He's alive. Was Jesus a zombie?
Last year, we looked at John's gospel. Check it out here.
This year, we'll look at the Zombie Jesus evidence from Luke.
Died and came back to life --- Zombie +4
Moved a heavy stone --- Zombie -1
Left the tomb and wandered around --- Zombie +2
Had hype men / angels announce his resurrection --- Zombie -2
News of his return written off as nonsense --- Zombie +2
Discarded strips of linen (like a Mummy) --- Zombie -1
Walked with disciples as a fellow traveler to Emmaus --- Zombie -3
Disciples didn't recognize him --- Zombie ?
Talked about the entire Old Testament --- Zombie -3
Got invited to dinner --- Zombie -2
Took the bread (bread, not brains) --- Zombie -1
Gave thanks (those prayers usually get mumbled) --- Zombie +1
Broke the bread (violence) --- Zombie +1
Began to give the bread to the disciples (sharing) --- Zombie -1
Disappeared mysteriously --- Zombie -1
Broke into a home, startling and frightening --- Zombie +4
Proved he's not a ghost ... but is he a Zombie? --- Zombie ?
Total from Luke 24: + 14 vs. - 15 ... with 2 ?'s outstanding.
The jury's still out, but it looks like, from Luke, Jesus is not a zombie.
Although he endorses eating flesh and drinking blood, he offers his own in place of ours. Although Christians have been known to eat brains (see the book by Mark Noll), Jesus does nothing of the sort. And, as if this wasn't enough, he gives us a heads-up in advance of his apocalypse (although the Wal-Mart strategy won't work for it either).
No, his resurrection is something different, something unique, something worth understanding, something worth celebrating.
If he's not a zombie, what is he?
Props to those who caught that this was both a recycled post AND Earth Day