Contribution: the secret to conflict resolution

Have you ever had a fight that feels like it's going nowhere?

I've had one of these fights over the last week.  One of the worst ever.  And this fight is causing me to think about and review what I know about conflict resolution.

And the idea that I find most helpful is the idea of Contribution.

Contribution says that we've all done something to make this fight happen.  Done and left undone.  We may have different contributions and some may be more significant than others, but we've all contributed.

As long as one party maintains total innocence, the barrier to reconciliation remains high.

I think this is one reason God took on flesh and died on the cross (and I know this is a controversial idea).  When Jesus died on the cross, he became sin, as such became a sinner and through this owned fully a huge slice of humanity's contribution to the brokenness we see in the world.

As a holy God and a moral innocent, Jesus could have stood apart, demanding he made no contribution, taking no guilt onto himself.  But he didn't.

How much more should we, who are truly contributors, own our share in our conflicts?

What do you think would happen if, when we experienced conflict, we were able to identify and own up to our contribution?

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